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The Most Organic Vlog: Diet Tips/Transcript
Natalie: Hello, world! Mallory: Hi. Natalie: My name is Sawyer, and I'm a cage-free goose trainer. Mallory: And I'm Madysen, and I'm a freelance garden dreamer. Natalie: And we are so excited to have a lifestyle vlog! Finally! Mallory: Finally. Natalie: We're going to cover so much stuff. We're going to talk about clothes, makeup, D.U.I. tutorials, exercising tips, all of the above. Mallory: We are totes E.T.S.Y.G. Natalie: What's... what's E.T.S.Y.G.? Mallory: "Excited To Show You Guys". Natalie: Right. Mallory: So, like, we're starting to vlog, because pretty much everybody asks us how we got our lifestyle, and I just wanted to, like, be like other people and feel the world. Natalie: We're supes into, like, living supes healthy, whole-org-veg-paleo lifestyle. Mallory: We've got four diet things that we are obsessed with. Mallory: Number four is a new kale body scrub that we heard about from our psychic. Natalie: Best part of the kale body scrub: It's like eating a salad, but instead, scrubbed into your skin. Mallory: The way it works is that you scrub, then you scrub, scrub, until your skin is gone, and then you keep scrubbing, and it scrubs away your fat! Natalie: So you just have, like, this raw, fleshy, icky stuff. And so then, I was wrapped up in a body bandage for two weeks... Mallory: Yeah. Natalie: And that was, like, ugh, fine, but, like, I lost five pounds so that was cool. Mallory: You looked like a naked mole rat mummy. Natalie: Worth it. Natalie: Number four. This amazing new raw restaurant. It's, like, so farm-to-table, you're, like, literally sitting in a field. And there's all these animals that are, like, mean. And so you get the list of all the mean things the animal has ever done. "This chicked is a jerk; I'll have that one." and so you feel like, like the animal dies and you're, like, part of the nature's justice system. Like, I felt so patriotic. Mallory: But the other thing is that mean animals, they secrete these oxygenated secticu... sacti... sacti... sacticons... they secrete... they secrete these sacticons... Natalie: Sacticon. Mallory: ...that are, like, great for you skin. They, like, make your pores smaller and so radiant. So, like, I read that somewhere. Natalie: Science is so amaze! Okay, so at this same restaurant, you can get a super delish, nutrish, substansh chicken soup that's supes soupy. Mallory: Number four, and my personal fave, is our new diet that we're doing, and it's amaze. Like, it's literally a giant maze. And we originally started it, because a goblin king took my baby brother. Natalie: It's called the "More Natural than Natural"-diet. So it's no grains, no dairy, no sugar, no beans, no fruits, no veggies, no liquids. Including water. Mallory: Yeah. So basically, you just, like, absorb the pollen that's in the air. Natalie: Yeah. Mallory: But no sun, because you might photosynthesize, and that would make you fat. Natalie: 'Cause you become part plant after the pollen. Mallory: Hm. Food for thought. Natalie: Now you're making me think of it. Mallory: But no food. And also, a good... a good tip, just to know, because sometimes people are like "When do I stop dieting?", you know you can stop the diet, when you look in the mirror and you have the body of a 9-year old boy. You guys, seriously?! This diet is so good. It's to die. Natalie: It's to die. Mallory: We need to go now, because we need to wrap our faces in seaweed so we lose all our cheekbone fat. Natalie: Yeah, gross. Peace and love! Mallory: Peace and love. Category:Season 7